Saturday 16 June 2012
GoNe BuT nOt FoRgOtTeN.....RIP Ngozi Josephine Onyeabor
It feels like yesterday when we had that girly talk on the sofa...talking about the new dude in my life at the same time waiting for the clock to hit 12 so i could give u the biggest hug and scream 'HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY SISTER...YOU MADE IT TO 40..GOD KEPT YOU FOR US..I LOVE U'. And it did tick and I said all of that plus more....we talked and talked into the morning and u gave me the best relationship advice and said " Sweet sister,I can see he makes u happpy, u've been alone for too long maybe now is the time for u to give someone a chance..." Then the phone rings and its 'him' and i tell him to speak to my sister but he says "noooooooooo" and i say 'Its her birthday, wish her a happy one' and he says 'mamama pls noooo' and i handed the phone over to you...hehe..you say ' hmmm so u're the one abi?...if u break my sisters heart i will come and find u o, don't mess with us o...she is my joy and everything' then he says whatever he says, all i remember u saying was "amen, thank u" and i took the phone back....as usual you asked if i was ok and if i needed anything...i hugged u,prayed with you and we went to bed...ready for the next day as mummy was bringing her troops to come and pray for u....I remember that day so vividly..how we went shopping and the experience with tat lady and her buggy....we rushed home so we could make it before mum but unfortunately she was there before us and we did not hear the end of it.....we ran in....gisted a bit about what u'll wear..gosh this is too painful..You never really liked pictures no matter how much i forced you to take them and i know u wont want me posting the recent ones here, even tho u look soooooooooooo beautiful in them. Anyway, i won't do what you wouldn't want me to do. i love you dear sister.
Sister I couldnt publish this post since but I will now. Remember my friend Kunbi? The oone you spoke to when i was so down and writing my exams? The one i was staying in her house..Sister she died, plane crash, she just died....I know u will see her, please tell her i miss her..I miss you and love u so much..God help us all.
Rest in peace my dear friend.....KIA4EVA
Where do I want to start from? Where?
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I wake up with my head filled up with so many ideas for this charity we want to work on....I write, I make calls, I remember Kunbi and our discussion...I call Bolu...she says call Kunbi and I say that's true, i'll call her. I try to call Kunbi but I tot"later" or when I'm ready to register it i'll call her to put me thru cos I know that call won't be a 1minute thing as we have alot of pending gist...Henrys wedding, Ugonna, Nhs, the latest guy in my life etc......A week and i mean one week after, i go to church, bb dies as usual(very rubbish device), having fun with friends...stayed in church till late...got a text from twinny on my voda about this plane crash in Nigeria that killed people, my heart skipped and I just said " Gosh twinny, thats so sad mehn... I really worry for Nigeria" I come home charge my fone...see all the updates and all i could do was pray...i made a conscious effort not to update about the crash at all cos it was just too sad...I tried to look away. Then i get a bbm from my school son saying ' Mama I need a favour, dont panic o but did you hear about the plane crash? the one in Lagos' I replied saying 'yes dear' he goes on to say 'don't panic o. But i hear one of your friends was on it and her sister is in loughbotough. Is it true?' . At this time i had two of my friends with me and I just kept on telling them that i dunno what this boy is talking about cos i cannot think, i cannot cannot think of anyone that her sister is in loughborough that would have been on that plane....so i took the courage and asked 'tel me who? PING! PING!PING! my fone has been off, just turned it on' and lo and behold the biggest blow i have ever received came (at this time my friends had gone, i made sure they left before i opend his message) he replied saying "I hear Kunbi, don't know if its true' so i replied saying ' i don;t think its true but let me ping her and see' at that point believe you me my heart STOPPED! It stopped but I was still alive....So i called Kunbi but couldnt get thru so i calmed down then i called Jumoke and I could tell it was true from the tone..we had a convo for like a minute or two-i honestly cannot remember a thing from our convo. The rest is history.........
KUNBI IRENE ADEBIYI was my friend regardless of all the differences that we had, infact we fought more than anyone in loughborough but i still loved her..in another fact,i was always the one fighting with myself in the matter o...as the pretty young lady didnt even know half the time that i was fighting with her.lol.serious issue of a big baby.....My first fight with Kunbi was really silly and i cannot say most of the reasons and the day i can never forget was the day ugonna tricked us and left her in my room for us to settle our differences and we were just talking like husband and wife....i'll say things like ' but i text u and u didnt reply, ehn that shows u dont care now and i am not important abi' and she'll say things like ' who told you? u dont even know why'. Hmmmmmm kunbebe i knw u're reading this now and saying 'mamz it is not that type of thing i love u too o' but Kunbi it hurts, it hurts so deep, it hurts deeper than anything. You know now, you knw when i lost sister and how i was, u were even hurt too cos you spoke with her a couple of times but this hurt is not that type of hurt kunbi, this hurt is just i-cannot-believe-i-will-get-past-this-hurt kind of hurt and i dunno whats hurting me more if its that i never really expressed how much u meant enuf or its that u're actually gone like u're gone? asin kunbz i cant stop thinking about the flight...how u must have felt, if the pilot made an announcemnt, or if the plane shook or if the mask dropped down, if u panicked, if u tried to calm the person next to u down, if u just simply shut ur eyes and talked to God. Like i wish i could have seen all this happen so i could save you but i couldnt, i didnt, i couldnt have.Only God could have. I am so pained that our country Nigeria that you love so much and hoped to lead one day let u down like this Kunbi, I am so pained that the greed of humanity and the insensitivity of mankind can do this to you Kunbi. I am sorry and i apologise on behalf of the whole nation. I won;t be like them i will be different i will think about my neighbour in everything i do, i will be my brothers keeper and in all i do i will always put God first. i'm sure u are safe now anyway, we all will go someday too and u're lucky u dont have to deal with loosing each of us...we will all meet again kunbz...say hello to sister for me and Ugonnas dad...i love you and i miss you too...your last words to me when i kept telling u that u lived in 10 and me 8 and this ur forgetting memory is a special case...:
- Mams! It's no 10 oh, dunno how I 4got! Aaaaw thAts nice, nd Ur helping ppl Wich u like doin. Proud of u, so do u go from home nd wen nxt r u in Lagos? Hows MB btw? Yes am in Lagos oh, NYSC has even started. Yes am planning to go for the wedding BGG. Ugonna nd I r good, thank GOD:) how bou u? Ne new bobo or potential?
and my last words to you while you lived were:
- Aww that's nice make sure you wear nice make up o! Like ur bday....Yeah I go from home.....I'll come to xmas but not for long at all just 4days cos of work...@potential bobo yes there is one o! Femi and i'm weak cos I wasnt expecting another yoruba boy...lol...not confirmed yet but so far he might be the next..been on a couple of dates and so on...I've left it completely with God to take total control and I told him to pray too..My prayer life is better now and I'm becoming a better christian day by day too and I love my new church too.....I'll post dress today
So my dearest, thats it...I miss u deeply and truly and i thank God for bringing u into my life, you were so tender,sweet and fair. God bless u till we meet again.
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p.s: that femi guy didnt work o! So please pray for me from there o...lol..ur sister is really tired of all these boboz...we dunno who is lying or saying the truth again.lol....Plus we are now on that charity ish FULL FORCE! Our first fundraiser is on the 13th July and we will be remembering u. God heal our hearts Kunbz especially ur family and Ugonna (I really dunno how he is coping especiallly after his dad, but GOD has to do it. He is not a man that He should lie. He gat this...we will be fine) love u girlfriendxxx
Wednesday 23 May 2012
TOP 10 WORST FEMALE HEALTH HABITS
1.WEARING HEELS
More and more of us are opting to wear heels on a daily basis,and this could be bad news for our health. High heels affect our posture, put pressure on joints, and can lead to a range of conditions including arthritis, hammer toes, back pain and tendon injuries – and that’s before you take into account any heel-related accidents! To minimise damage, limit your heels to 1.5 inches for daily wear, and wear insoles to help reduce the pressure on joints.
2.CARRYING A HEAVY HANDBAG With the rising number of gadgets and accessories the majority of women haul around, many of us are carrying around several pounds of weight on our shoulders every day. As a result, lots of us are also putting our long term health at risk. While you may not feel the effects right now, lugging around a heavy handbag can lead to serious back problems and neck pain as well as poor posture. Don’t wait until the damage is done – do your health a favour and try clearing out all non-essential items and switching to a smaller bag.
3.SLEEPING IN MAKEUP Most of us have succumbed to the temptation to sleep in our post-party makeup at some point. However, leaving makeup on overnight – along with the dirt and oil that naturally accumulates on skin throughout the day – is a quick route to clogged pores, congested skin and spots. Sleeping with mascara and eye makeup on can also affect your health by causing eye irritation, bloodshot eyes or even infection.
4.MATCHING MEN DRINK FOR DRINK From networking drinks to first dates and social events, there are many instances when women may feel compelled to keep up with the drinking habits of the opposite sex. However, women not only tend to weigh less than men but they have less body water to dilute the alcohol, which means they tend to get more drunk more quickly. To minimise the risks of alcohol on your health, try to keep within the recommended guidelines for alcohol consumption and alternate alcohol with soft drinks.
5.WEARING THE WRONG BRA SIZE It is thought that more than 70 per cent of women are wearing the wrong bra size. However, wearing a badly fitted bra can not only affect the look of your clothes, but research suggests it can cause a range of health problems including back, neck and breast pain, breathing difficulties, poor posture, skin irritation, circulation problems and even irritable bowel syndrome. Rather than guessing your size, make sure you get measured to ensure you are getting the support you need.
6.WORRYING AND HARBOURING REGRETS. Stress is damaging to both our physical and mental health, and women are twice as likely as men to suffer from stress-related disorders, as well as having higher rates of depression and anxiety. While it is thought there may be biological reasons for this, worrying about the future and dwelling on regrets can also add to our problems, with research suggesting that women are more than twice as likely as men to harbour regrets over lost loves and broken relationships.
7.OBSESSING OVER APPEARANCE While both genders suffer from body insecurity, many women tend to overly obsess over their idea of the “perfect” body. Research findings published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology found that 16 per cent of the normal or underweight women studied believed themselves to be overweight, while a study commissioned by Dove found that 90 per of women wanted to change at least one aspect of their appearance. Body insecurity not only affects our mental health, but it can also lead to physical damage caused by extreme diets, yo-yo dieting, eating disorders and cosmetic surgery.
8. EMOTIONAL EATING While comfort eating affects both genders, research has suggested that men are more likely to reinforce positive emotions with food, while women comfort eat when they’re sad. Women are also more likely to satisfy their cravings with sweet, high-calorie foods. Rather than letting your waistline suffer next time you’re feeling blue, try distracting yourself from cravings by doing something you enjoy, or boost your endorphins and health with an uplifting workout.
9.NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP Not only can lack of sleep make us look and feel at our worst, but insufficient shut-eye can also lead to increased accidents, calorie consumption and heart disease risk. Unluckily for women, statistics suggest that sleep problems affect more women than men, while a study by the University of Michigan found that women are more than twice as likely to give up sleep to care for others. Unfortunately, sleep has been found to affect women’s blood pressure and mood more than men’s, making it imperative that you do your best to get a good night’s sleep.
10.PUTTING THEMSELVES LAST Not only are women more likely to compromise their sleeping habits to care for children and others, they are also prone to putting their own wants and needs at the bottom of a hectic to-do list of chores and obligations. To avoid running yourself into the ground, learn to sometimes say no to those requests and commitments that are less than essential, and make sure you set aside some “me” time each week to do something enjoyable just for you.
2.CARRYING A HEAVY HANDBAG With the rising number of gadgets and accessories the majority of women haul around, many of us are carrying around several pounds of weight on our shoulders every day. As a result, lots of us are also putting our long term health at risk. While you may not feel the effects right now, lugging around a heavy handbag can lead to serious back problems and neck pain as well as poor posture. Don’t wait until the damage is done – do your health a favour and try clearing out all non-essential items and switching to a smaller bag.
3.SLEEPING IN MAKEUP Most of us have succumbed to the temptation to sleep in our post-party makeup at some point. However, leaving makeup on overnight – along with the dirt and oil that naturally accumulates on skin throughout the day – is a quick route to clogged pores, congested skin and spots. Sleeping with mascara and eye makeup on can also affect your health by causing eye irritation, bloodshot eyes or even infection.
4.MATCHING MEN DRINK FOR DRINK From networking drinks to first dates and social events, there are many instances when women may feel compelled to keep up with the drinking habits of the opposite sex. However, women not only tend to weigh less than men but they have less body water to dilute the alcohol, which means they tend to get more drunk more quickly. To minimise the risks of alcohol on your health, try to keep within the recommended guidelines for alcohol consumption and alternate alcohol with soft drinks.
5.WEARING THE WRONG BRA SIZE It is thought that more than 70 per cent of women are wearing the wrong bra size. However, wearing a badly fitted bra can not only affect the look of your clothes, but research suggests it can cause a range of health problems including back, neck and breast pain, breathing difficulties, poor posture, skin irritation, circulation problems and even irritable bowel syndrome. Rather than guessing your size, make sure you get measured to ensure you are getting the support you need.
6.WORRYING AND HARBOURING REGRETS. Stress is damaging to both our physical and mental health, and women are twice as likely as men to suffer from stress-related disorders, as well as having higher rates of depression and anxiety. While it is thought there may be biological reasons for this, worrying about the future and dwelling on regrets can also add to our problems, with research suggesting that women are more than twice as likely as men to harbour regrets over lost loves and broken relationships.
7.OBSESSING OVER APPEARANCE While both genders suffer from body insecurity, many women tend to overly obsess over their idea of the “perfect” body. Research findings published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology found that 16 per cent of the normal or underweight women studied believed themselves to be overweight, while a study commissioned by Dove found that 90 per of women wanted to change at least one aspect of their appearance. Body insecurity not only affects our mental health, but it can also lead to physical damage caused by extreme diets, yo-yo dieting, eating disorders and cosmetic surgery.
8. EMOTIONAL EATING While comfort eating affects both genders, research has suggested that men are more likely to reinforce positive emotions with food, while women comfort eat when they’re sad. Women are also more likely to satisfy their cravings with sweet, high-calorie foods. Rather than letting your waistline suffer next time you’re feeling blue, try distracting yourself from cravings by doing something you enjoy, or boost your endorphins and health with an uplifting workout.
9.NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP Not only can lack of sleep make us look and feel at our worst, but insufficient shut-eye can also lead to increased accidents, calorie consumption and heart disease risk. Unluckily for women, statistics suggest that sleep problems affect more women than men, while a study by the University of Michigan found that women are more than twice as likely to give up sleep to care for others. Unfortunately, sleep has been found to affect women’s blood pressure and mood more than men’s, making it imperative that you do your best to get a good night’s sleep.
10.PUTTING THEMSELVES LAST Not only are women more likely to compromise their sleeping habits to care for children and others, they are also prone to putting their own wants and needs at the bottom of a hectic to-do list of chores and obligations. To avoid running yourself into the ground, learn to sometimes say no to those requests and commitments that are less than essential, and make sure you set aside some “me” time each week to do something enjoyable just for you.
Tuesday 8 May 2012
Helping children around the world....
Argghhhhh its such a pain trying to come up with a name. We have decided on a plan for PH but now we need a name to start sending out our proposals and its becoming more of a headache than the notion itelf.lol.Oh well, we shall come up with something soonest...till then, please support us in any way that you can. there are too many helpless kids out there, some happy and some sad...we can only reach out to as many, so if you get the opportunity to, please do. remember its not alll about the money but the time
...do it now. Do not wait till tomorrow. I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.SO wherever you are, help :)
Saturday 28 April 2012
PROJECT HELP!!!
We went to visit a few homes and gave them some of our time and gifts. WHile we were there something came to mind and i thought " We need to do more than we are doing". We really all need to do more than we are doing, most times its not really all about the money. "The Buttercup" kids just broke my heart completely knowing what the Awalas are doing..Like God seriously blesss them and I must say that Mrs Awala-Ale is an inspiration. Talkless of Ma' Oronsaye(Not sure if that is how it is spelt) look how old she is and see what she is doing......So I thought about "PROJECT HELP" and it is a project we are all going to embark on together and we are all going to hel :) We will make a difference together and keep a smile on these childrens faces regardless.. So sit back, relax and be ready to answer when I call...
Tuesday 27 March 2012
My Story: Ogochukwu Onuchukwu - A woman shares her story from the grave
Ogochukwu Onuchukwu (Nee Onugu). 23/10/1976 - 27/2/2012
I got this piece from Lindas blog and all I can say is "Wow"..... I don't know how to introduce what you are about to read...it's very chilling, quite disturbing, and extremely heart wrenching. If this doesn't make you cry, nothing else will.
A dead woman, Ogochukwu Onuchukwu (she died last month) shares her story and writes a letter to her husband from the grave. I culled the letter from her WEBSITE and wanted to share it because it's something we all need to read and hopefully someone will learn from it. Read it below...
My mum is crying. I can see her from here. She has aged since the last time I saw her. Why does she look so old and why is she so thin? Can someone console her? Can someone make her stop crying?
I try to get up but I can’t. I try to reach for her, but I’m stuck where I am. It is very dark in here, and very cold, so very cold.
What am I doing here? Where is everybody? Where are my children? I begin to panic, to struggle; I want to get out of this dark room.
I can hear Uzo calling. She’s calling my name. Then, I see mum again. And I hear Uzo again. I don’t see my children. Where are my children? I can’t see beyond the walls of this dark and cold room.
This just messed with my head...I hope you fair better. Continue reading...
Uzo calls again.
She sounds desperate to rouse me from my sleep. I am struggling to wake but I can’t. I open my eyes and they shut of their own accord.
I am powerless to keep them from shutting. And I find as soon as I stop struggling, my sleep becomes sweet repose. Suddenly I don’t want to wake from it just yet. It is peaceful.
I see mum again, and I see Uzo. Uzo keeps calling. She won’t stop calling. She is crying too, just like mum.
Can someone bring Kamsi and Amanda to me? Can someone bring my babies to me? I need to hug them, Kamsi, especially. Is he crying too and calling out for me? Does he understand that I am gone? Kamsi will miss me.
He is a special child, you know; Kamsiyochukwu - my son and my first child.
I prayed and longed for his birth. He was the blessing from above that would seal Kevin’s love for me and give me some footing in his home and some acceptance from his family.
Before Kamsi, I was a nobody in Kevin’s home. I was born the last of nine children, the baby of the family. I was used to love and affection. I was everyone’s baby. I grew up knowing that everyone had my back, I grew up knowing the safety and security of being the baby of the home. You may then understand my shock when I stepped out of my home and into new territory with the man of my dreams only to find that I was really not as special as I had been made to believe. I look back to that day when Kevin took me home to introduce me to my new family. The cold and rude shock of the welcome his brother’s wife gave me set off an alarm in my head.
These people didn’t think I was special. In fact, her first words were, ”Kevin, ebe kwa ka isi dute nka?” (Kevin, “Where on earth did you bring this one from?) That would be the first time I would be addressed as “this one” and from then on, I grappled with the realization that I was not welcome in my new home.
I remember my first Christmas at Ihiala as a new bride. My brother-in-law’s wife would sneer and clap and refer to me as “Ndi ji ukwu azo akwu” (the people who process palm fruits with their bare feet). I knew she meant my impoverished home town of Nsukka. She would sing to me all day long telling me the only reason why their brother married me was because of my beauty and complexion.
Now, I lie here and I wonder if I was in my right mind to ignore the several other alarms over my 12- year union with Kevin.
I had to ignore them, I told myself. I had already taken my vows to be with Kevin until death did us part.
They never really wanted me, I can now see. But I was too blinded by love to realize that. I needed to do something to cement Kevin’s heart with mine. I needed to remain Kevin’s wife and to prove to the world that indeed Love would conquer all.
When after one year of marriage there were still no children, the painful journey that sent me to my grave started. I went from specialist to specialist, ingested every kind of pill that promised to boost my fertility. As my desperation grew, so did pressure from Kevin’s family. My horror-movie life story started playing out; the horror-movie life that has sent me to an early and cold grave from where I write this letter to my husband.
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My sweet Kevin,
We started to fight over little things. The fights were worse after you visited home or attended any of your numerous family meetings. You came home one evening and asked me to move out of the bedroom we both shared and into the guestroom downstairs. The next time you returned from the meeting, you tied me up with a rope and used your belt on me. No one heard my screams.
I remember when you told me that your family had asked you to remarry. You showed me documents of all your numerous landed property including the house we lived in. Your brother was listed as next of kin. When I asked you about it, your answer rocked the ground I was standing on. You said, “What have you to show that entitles you to any stake in this household?” You were referring to my barreness.
It is funny how to my family and friends, I was the beautiful and loving Ogo, whilst to you and your family I was a worthless piece of rag. You called me barren. I could have fled but your love and acceptance was of more worth to me than the love and admiration of the world outside our home. I desperately sought to be loved by you, Kevin.
In your family’s presence I felt unworthy, unloved and unwanted. Yet, I stayed on. I would make you love me one way or the other and I knew that one sure way would
be to produce a child, an heir for you. That was the most important thing to you.
I began the numerous procedures, painful procedures, including surgery. I gave myself daily shots. At some point the needles could no longer pierce my skin. My skin had toughened to the piercing pain of needles.
After seven years of marriage, our prayers were answered. God blessed us with our son Kamsiyochukwu, which means ‘’Just as I asked of the Lord’’. God had intervened and miracles were about to start happening because for the first time in seven years, my mother-in-law called me. Finally I was home. I had been accepted. I was now a woman, a wife and a mother. Finally there was peace. Kamsi will be four in November.
The miracles stayed with me because 18 months later through another procedure, Chimamanda was born. Her birth was bitter sweet for me. Sweet because you Kevin, my husband, and my in-laws would love me more for bearing a second child, but bitter because this particular birth almost cost me my life. The doctors had become very concerned. You see, I had developed too many complications from all the different procedures I had undergone in the journey to have children and these were beginning to get in the way of normal everyday living. I developed conditions that had almost become life threatening. So the doctors sent me off with my new bundle of joy and with a stern warning not to try for another child as I may not be so lucky.
I chuckled, almost gleefully. Why would I want to try for a third child? God had given me a boy and a girl, what more could I ask for. I was only ever so thankful to God.
Kevin, you and I gave numerous and very generous donations to different churches in thanksgiving to God. All was well. I was happy and fulfilled. Kevin, you loved me again. Your family accepted me. Life was good. And all was quiet again. …………………… For a while.
Then fate struck me a blow. As if to remind me that my stay in your house was temporary and was never really going to be peaceful, Kamsi – our son, our first fruit, my pride and joy and the child that gave me a place in my husband’s home, began to show signs of slowed development; the visits to the doctors resumed, this time on account of Kamsi.
We started seeing therapists. After we’d been from one doctor to another I decided I had to resort to prayer. I was frightened. I was terrified. I was threatened. I started to feel unwell. I had difficulty breathing. I needed to see my doctors, Kamsi too. He wasn’t doing too well either. He had difficulty with his speech. He was slow to comprehend things. I did not know for sure what was wrong with him but I knew all was not well. Not with him and not with me. We
were denied visas to the USA because we had overstayed on our last trip on account of Kamsi’s treatments. So whilst we waited for a lawyer to help us clear up the immigration issues with America, I applied for a UK visa and sought help in London. But by then, trouble had reared its head at home, again.
Kevin, you had again become very impatient with me. My fears were fully alive again. The battles it seemed I had won were again in full rage. My husband, in your irritable impatience and anger, you told me to my face that our son, my Kamsi, was worthless to you. You said he was abnormal. You said that our daughter, my Amanda, was a girl and that you had no need for a girl child because she would someday be married off. I remember, in pain, that you didn’t attend Amanda’s christening because you were upset with me. You told me your mother was more important to you than “THESE THINGS” I brought to your house. You were referring to our children, were you not? “THESE THINGS”.
My heart bled. I wept bitterly. Then I quickly calmed my fears by telling myself that you were under a lot of stress at work and that you were also probably reacting to all the money that you had spent on my treatments. Surely, all that was getting to you? Even when you threatened me with a knife, twice you did that, I still felt unworthy of you and very deserving of your hatred. Even when you would say: “I will kill you and nothing will happen because you have no one to fight for you”, I kept on struggling to get you to love me because, Kevin, your validation was important to me
You had refused to give me money for my medical trip to London. I knew then it was because you had your hands full with caring and catering for everybody who was dear to you. Your finances were stretched. I thought then that in time you would come around.
My health continued to get worse. Eventually, I made it to London. After extensive consultations and tests, I was given a definitive diagnosis. My condition was life threatening. It was from this time, when it was clear that I required surgery to save me life that I came face to face with a different kind of war from our home.
Kevin, you stopped speaking with me. I was in pain, in anguish and in tears. I didn’t understand what was happening. I had stayed three weeks in London and Kevin, you never called, sent a text or inquired how I was faring. You stopped taking my calls. Instead I got a call from my cousin in whose care I had left my children. She was frantic with worry because there was no food in the house for the children to eat; Kevin you had refused to provide food for our children. Kevin, you had also refused to pay for Kamsi’s home schooling.
Then Kevin, I received that e-mail from you. The only communication from you for the entire period I was in London.
Do you remember? It was an angry email. You berated me for putting your integrity at stake at your work place. Apparently your employers had called a hospital in London to inquire about me and were told that no one by my name was ever their patient. I later found out that you had given the wrong hospital name to your employers. Do you remember, Kevin?
For the first time in my 12 year marriage, the alarm bells in my head began to sound real. For the first time in 12 years, I felt real anger stir up in my heart. Kevin, I was angry because you paid no heed to the hospital where your wife was at in London. You had no clue and cared little about what I was going through. Yet you would berate me for putting your INTEGRITY at work at stake. Your integrity was your primary concern, not my health.
Then it hit me! All these years I was trying to be all I could be for you, Kevin, to make you happy, to please you, Kevin, ……… you actually hated me. You didn’t want me in your life. The signs were all there. Your family had showed me from day one that they didn’t want me. I was the object of a hatred that I could not explain. I
couldn’t understand why.
Then I saw the hand writing on the wall, all those many things that went on. You even sold my car whilst I was still lying on a hospital bed in London, with no word to me. I was not to learn of what you had done until I returned to Nigeria. The doctors had allowed me to return to prepare for surgery.
Kevin, do you remember that on my return I gave you a pair of shoes I had bought for you? Kevin, my husband, do you remember hurling those shoes at me? Kevin, do you remember me breaking down in tears? Kevin, do you remember me asking you that night, many times over, why you hated me so much, what I had done to make you hate me as much as you did?
“You are disturbing me, and if you continue, I`ll move out and inform the company that I no longer live in the house. Then they will come and drive you away”. Kevin, my husband, that was your response to me. Did you know then I only had days to live? Is that why you told me that would be the last time I would see you physically? Did you know it would only be a few more hours?
I still had a surgery to go through. Kevin, since you wanted no part in it, I had contacted the medical officer in your company directly for referrals. I left Eket for Lagos on Saturday. That same day I consulted with the specialist surgeon and surgery was scheduled for Monday morning.
In those final hours, as I prepared for my surgery, I was alone, my spirit was broken. I had lost all the fight in me. Kevin, I knew that nothing I did or said would turn you heart toward me, and I had nobody for whom you had any regards who would speak up for me.
In those final hours, Kevin, I called you. This was Sunday morning, less than 24 hours to my death. Do you remember, Kevin? I called you to share what the specialist surgeon had said. I was still shaking from your screams on the phone when I got in here. You did not want me to bother you, you screamed. I should go to my brothers and sisters, you screamed. I should pay you back all the money you gave me for my treatment in London, you screamed. Kevin, did you know that would be my last conversation with you? My last conversation with you, my husband, my love, my life, ended with you banging the phone on me.
Recalling the abusive words, the spitting, the beating, the bruising, the knifing, and the promise that I would not live long for daring to forget to buy garden eggs for your mother, an insult you vowed I would pay for with my life ……., I knew then it was over for me. There was no rationalizing needed any longer. Even the blind could see ………. You did not want me in your life.
I went in for surgery on Monday morning, February 27, 2012, and after battling for several hours, I yielded my spirit.
Kevin, my husband, I lived my promise to God. The promise I made on the day I wedded you.
For better ………………………… For worse
For richer …………………………. For poorer
In Sickness ………………………. And in health
To love ………………………….. And to cherish
Till DEATH US DO PART!
And it has.
NOW I AM DEAD!!!!!!!
Just as your mum predicted ….. Her cold words follow me to morgue. She swore to me that I would leave her son’s house dead or alive. I couldn’t leave whilst I still breathed. It had to be through death, and death it has become.
Kevin, you are FREE! And, so am I.
Your freedom is temporary. Mine is eternal.
Whilst you still have freedom, remember Kamsi and Chimamanda.
Lovingly yours until death,
Ogo.
I am gone. Gone forever. But if one woman, just one woman will learn from my story, then maybe I would not have gone in vain.
My heart weeps for my children, my mummy, my sisters and my brothers, my extended family. These ones, I was a gift to. These ones, they loved me. These ones, they wanted me. These ones, they needed me. These ones, they wish I had spoken out earlier.
***
Written by someone who was part of her life and witnessed her struggles. RIP Ogo.
I got this piece from Lindas blog and all I can say is "Wow"..... I don't know how to introduce what you are about to read...it's very chilling, quite disturbing, and extremely heart wrenching. If this doesn't make you cry, nothing else will.
A dead woman, Ogochukwu Onuchukwu (she died last month) shares her story and writes a letter to her husband from the grave. I culled the letter from her WEBSITE and wanted to share it because it's something we all need to read and hopefully someone will learn from it. Read it below...
My mum is crying. I can see her from here. She has aged since the last time I saw her. Why does she look so old and why is she so thin? Can someone console her? Can someone make her stop crying?
I try to get up but I can’t. I try to reach for her, but I’m stuck where I am. It is very dark in here, and very cold, so very cold.
What am I doing here? Where is everybody? Where are my children? I begin to panic, to struggle; I want to get out of this dark room.
I can hear Uzo calling. She’s calling my name. Then, I see mum again. And I hear Uzo again. I don’t see my children. Where are my children? I can’t see beyond the walls of this dark and cold room.
This just messed with my head...I hope you fair better. Continue reading...
Uzo calls again.
She sounds desperate to rouse me from my sleep. I am struggling to wake but I can’t. I open my eyes and they shut of their own accord.
I am powerless to keep them from shutting. And I find as soon as I stop struggling, my sleep becomes sweet repose. Suddenly I don’t want to wake from it just yet. It is peaceful.
I see mum again, and I see Uzo. Uzo keeps calling. She won’t stop calling. She is crying too, just like mum.
Can someone bring Kamsi and Amanda to me? Can someone bring my babies to me? I need to hug them, Kamsi, especially. Is he crying too and calling out for me? Does he understand that I am gone? Kamsi will miss me.
He is a special child, you know; Kamsiyochukwu - my son and my first child.
I prayed and longed for his birth. He was the blessing from above that would seal Kevin’s love for me and give me some footing in his home and some acceptance from his family.
Before Kamsi, I was a nobody in Kevin’s home. I was born the last of nine children, the baby of the family. I was used to love and affection. I was everyone’s baby. I grew up knowing that everyone had my back, I grew up knowing the safety and security of being the baby of the home. You may then understand my shock when I stepped out of my home and into new territory with the man of my dreams only to find that I was really not as special as I had been made to believe. I look back to that day when Kevin took me home to introduce me to my new family. The cold and rude shock of the welcome his brother’s wife gave me set off an alarm in my head.
These people didn’t think I was special. In fact, her first words were, ”Kevin, ebe kwa ka isi dute nka?” (Kevin, “Where on earth did you bring this one from?) That would be the first time I would be addressed as “this one” and from then on, I grappled with the realization that I was not welcome in my new home.
I remember my first Christmas at Ihiala as a new bride. My brother-in-law’s wife would sneer and clap and refer to me as “Ndi ji ukwu azo akwu” (the people who process palm fruits with their bare feet). I knew she meant my impoverished home town of Nsukka. She would sing to me all day long telling me the only reason why their brother married me was because of my beauty and complexion.
Now, I lie here and I wonder if I was in my right mind to ignore the several other alarms over my 12- year union with Kevin.
I had to ignore them, I told myself. I had already taken my vows to be with Kevin until death did us part.
They never really wanted me, I can now see. But I was too blinded by love to realize that. I needed to do something to cement Kevin’s heart with mine. I needed to remain Kevin’s wife and to prove to the world that indeed Love would conquer all.
When after one year of marriage there were still no children, the painful journey that sent me to my grave started. I went from specialist to specialist, ingested every kind of pill that promised to boost my fertility. As my desperation grew, so did pressure from Kevin’s family. My horror-movie life story started playing out; the horror-movie life that has sent me to an early and cold grave from where I write this letter to my husband.
*********************************************************************************
My sweet Kevin,
We started to fight over little things. The fights were worse after you visited home or attended any of your numerous family meetings. You came home one evening and asked me to move out of the bedroom we both shared and into the guestroom downstairs. The next time you returned from the meeting, you tied me up with a rope and used your belt on me. No one heard my screams.
I remember when you told me that your family had asked you to remarry. You showed me documents of all your numerous landed property including the house we lived in. Your brother was listed as next of kin. When I asked you about it, your answer rocked the ground I was standing on. You said, “What have you to show that entitles you to any stake in this household?” You were referring to my barreness.
It is funny how to my family and friends, I was the beautiful and loving Ogo, whilst to you and your family I was a worthless piece of rag. You called me barren. I could have fled but your love and acceptance was of more worth to me than the love and admiration of the world outside our home. I desperately sought to be loved by you, Kevin.
In your family’s presence I felt unworthy, unloved and unwanted. Yet, I stayed on. I would make you love me one way or the other and I knew that one sure way would
be to produce a child, an heir for you. That was the most important thing to you.
I began the numerous procedures, painful procedures, including surgery. I gave myself daily shots. At some point the needles could no longer pierce my skin. My skin had toughened to the piercing pain of needles.
After seven years of marriage, our prayers were answered. God blessed us with our son Kamsiyochukwu, which means ‘’Just as I asked of the Lord’’. God had intervened and miracles were about to start happening because for the first time in seven years, my mother-in-law called me. Finally I was home. I had been accepted. I was now a woman, a wife and a mother. Finally there was peace. Kamsi will be four in November.
The miracles stayed with me because 18 months later through another procedure, Chimamanda was born. Her birth was bitter sweet for me. Sweet because you Kevin, my husband, and my in-laws would love me more for bearing a second child, but bitter because this particular birth almost cost me my life. The doctors had become very concerned. You see, I had developed too many complications from all the different procedures I had undergone in the journey to have children and these were beginning to get in the way of normal everyday living. I developed conditions that had almost become life threatening. So the doctors sent me off with my new bundle of joy and with a stern warning not to try for another child as I may not be so lucky.
I chuckled, almost gleefully. Why would I want to try for a third child? God had given me a boy and a girl, what more could I ask for. I was only ever so thankful to God.
Kevin, you and I gave numerous and very generous donations to different churches in thanksgiving to God. All was well. I was happy and fulfilled. Kevin, you loved me again. Your family accepted me. Life was good. And all was quiet again. …………………… For a while.
Then fate struck me a blow. As if to remind me that my stay in your house was temporary and was never really going to be peaceful, Kamsi – our son, our first fruit, my pride and joy and the child that gave me a place in my husband’s home, began to show signs of slowed development; the visits to the doctors resumed, this time on account of Kamsi.
We started seeing therapists. After we’d been from one doctor to another I decided I had to resort to prayer. I was frightened. I was terrified. I was threatened. I started to feel unwell. I had difficulty breathing. I needed to see my doctors, Kamsi too. He wasn’t doing too well either. He had difficulty with his speech. He was slow to comprehend things. I did not know for sure what was wrong with him but I knew all was not well. Not with him and not with me. We
were denied visas to the USA because we had overstayed on our last trip on account of Kamsi’s treatments. So whilst we waited for a lawyer to help us clear up the immigration issues with America, I applied for a UK visa and sought help in London. But by then, trouble had reared its head at home, again.
Kevin, you had again become very impatient with me. My fears were fully alive again. The battles it seemed I had won were again in full rage. My husband, in your irritable impatience and anger, you told me to my face that our son, my Kamsi, was worthless to you. You said he was abnormal. You said that our daughter, my Amanda, was a girl and that you had no need for a girl child because she would someday be married off. I remember, in pain, that you didn’t attend Amanda’s christening because you were upset with me. You told me your mother was more important to you than “THESE THINGS” I brought to your house. You were referring to our children, were you not? “THESE THINGS”.
My heart bled. I wept bitterly. Then I quickly calmed my fears by telling myself that you were under a lot of stress at work and that you were also probably reacting to all the money that you had spent on my treatments. Surely, all that was getting to you? Even when you threatened me with a knife, twice you did that, I still felt unworthy of you and very deserving of your hatred. Even when you would say: “I will kill you and nothing will happen because you have no one to fight for you”, I kept on struggling to get you to love me because, Kevin, your validation was important to me
You had refused to give me money for my medical trip to London. I knew then it was because you had your hands full with caring and catering for everybody who was dear to you. Your finances were stretched. I thought then that in time you would come around.
My health continued to get worse. Eventually, I made it to London. After extensive consultations and tests, I was given a definitive diagnosis. My condition was life threatening. It was from this time, when it was clear that I required surgery to save me life that I came face to face with a different kind of war from our home.
Kevin, you stopped speaking with me. I was in pain, in anguish and in tears. I didn’t understand what was happening. I had stayed three weeks in London and Kevin, you never called, sent a text or inquired how I was faring. You stopped taking my calls. Instead I got a call from my cousin in whose care I had left my children. She was frantic with worry because there was no food in the house for the children to eat; Kevin you had refused to provide food for our children. Kevin, you had also refused to pay for Kamsi’s home schooling.
Then Kevin, I received that e-mail from you. The only communication from you for the entire period I was in London.
Do you remember? It was an angry email. You berated me for putting your integrity at stake at your work place. Apparently your employers had called a hospital in London to inquire about me and were told that no one by my name was ever their patient. I later found out that you had given the wrong hospital name to your employers. Do you remember, Kevin?
For the first time in my 12 year marriage, the alarm bells in my head began to sound real. For the first time in 12 years, I felt real anger stir up in my heart. Kevin, I was angry because you paid no heed to the hospital where your wife was at in London. You had no clue and cared little about what I was going through. Yet you would berate me for putting your INTEGRITY at work at stake. Your integrity was your primary concern, not my health.
Then it hit me! All these years I was trying to be all I could be for you, Kevin, to make you happy, to please you, Kevin, ……… you actually hated me. You didn’t want me in your life. The signs were all there. Your family had showed me from day one that they didn’t want me. I was the object of a hatred that I could not explain. I
couldn’t understand why.
Then I saw the hand writing on the wall, all those many things that went on. You even sold my car whilst I was still lying on a hospital bed in London, with no word to me. I was not to learn of what you had done until I returned to Nigeria. The doctors had allowed me to return to prepare for surgery.
Kevin, do you remember that on my return I gave you a pair of shoes I had bought for you? Kevin, my husband, do you remember hurling those shoes at me? Kevin, do you remember me breaking down in tears? Kevin, do you remember me asking you that night, many times over, why you hated me so much, what I had done to make you hate me as much as you did?
“You are disturbing me, and if you continue, I`ll move out and inform the company that I no longer live in the house. Then they will come and drive you away”. Kevin, my husband, that was your response to me. Did you know then I only had days to live? Is that why you told me that would be the last time I would see you physically? Did you know it would only be a few more hours?
I still had a surgery to go through. Kevin, since you wanted no part in it, I had contacted the medical officer in your company directly for referrals. I left Eket for Lagos on Saturday. That same day I consulted with the specialist surgeon and surgery was scheduled for Monday morning.
In those final hours, as I prepared for my surgery, I was alone, my spirit was broken. I had lost all the fight in me. Kevin, I knew that nothing I did or said would turn you heart toward me, and I had nobody for whom you had any regards who would speak up for me.
In those final hours, Kevin, I called you. This was Sunday morning, less than 24 hours to my death. Do you remember, Kevin? I called you to share what the specialist surgeon had said. I was still shaking from your screams on the phone when I got in here. You did not want me to bother you, you screamed. I should go to my brothers and sisters, you screamed. I should pay you back all the money you gave me for my treatment in London, you screamed. Kevin, did you know that would be my last conversation with you? My last conversation with you, my husband, my love, my life, ended with you banging the phone on me.
Recalling the abusive words, the spitting, the beating, the bruising, the knifing, and the promise that I would not live long for daring to forget to buy garden eggs for your mother, an insult you vowed I would pay for with my life ……., I knew then it was over for me. There was no rationalizing needed any longer. Even the blind could see ………. You did not want me in your life.
I went in for surgery on Monday morning, February 27, 2012, and after battling for several hours, I yielded my spirit.
Kevin, my husband, I lived my promise to God. The promise I made on the day I wedded you.
For better ………………………… For worse
For richer …………………………. For poorer
In Sickness ………………………. And in health
To love ………………………….. And to cherish
Till DEATH US DO PART!
And it has.
NOW I AM DEAD!!!!!!!
Just as your mum predicted ….. Her cold words follow me to morgue. She swore to me that I would leave her son’s house dead or alive. I couldn’t leave whilst I still breathed. It had to be through death, and death it has become.
Kevin, you are FREE! And, so am I.
Your freedom is temporary. Mine is eternal.
Whilst you still have freedom, remember Kamsi and Chimamanda.
Lovingly yours until death,
Ogo.
I am gone. Gone forever. But if one woman, just one woman will learn from my story, then maybe I would not have gone in vain.
My heart weeps for my children, my mummy, my sisters and my brothers, my extended family. These ones, I was a gift to. These ones, they loved me. These ones, they wanted me. These ones, they needed me. These ones, they wish I had spoken out earlier.
***
Written by someone who was part of her life and witnessed her struggles. RIP Ogo.
Inspiring story by Onyinyechi Stefanie Orukwowu....
THE TRIANGLE 'THE VIEWS'
The husband, his mistress and his wife. A tale of love, hate, infidelity, low self esteem, God, prayers, perseverance and forgiveness.
I am Jeremy, successful in every right and married to an amazing woman who made me really happy and gave me the best gifts any man could ever ask for 'our children' Jeremy Jnr and Angel. Then i met Bukola who actually came on to me and did the whole chase, till she lured me home one night (i and Latoya's anniversary). I cancelled on the woman who had done me no wrong but completed me in every area of my life but still i got that urge to be selfish, that urge that kept telling me there was nothing wrong with what i was doing, that urge that kept on saying 'here's a beautiful woman don't let that get past you man Latoya has got two kids out not sexy any more', even though i knew my wife had not lost shape in any way but i still went on. Bukola offered me a drink on that night and while i was on that my thoughts went wild and i was about to leave then she offered me something to eat and i could not turn her down so i ate and my first taste of that food almost led me to my destruction. That night when i got home Latoya was ugly to me and i saw my kids as little goblins, they became unbearable to live with and i started keeping late nights spending more time with Bukola. One thing i noticed while all this was going on was the strength and faith my wife put up, like nothing was wrong. She still went to church and about her business like everything was fine but i could see the pain in her eyes but that ugliness i could not ignore. I stopped eating her food but she never complained she still put them on the table each day all the same. She never screamed at me, she never asked where i was coming from. One day i was at work and a voice said 'i would have killed you if not for your wife's prayers, get up now and go home she needs you and don't you even waste as much as five minutes here' like a zombie i did as i was told. I could not stop myself and as soon as i got home there she was my beautiful wife, i knelt down apologised and asked her to pray for me. I stopped seeing Bukola and i never explained my absence from her life because when this all started i never explained to my wife and guess what she never called me back neither did she look for me. All i wanted at this point was to get my happy family back and i did.
Bukola is my name and i really don't care what people think about me, i saw a fine brother and i went after him. Well yes i made my investigations he was married but so what. I never lose in this games you know, what i want i get. I have no conscience, never been married and actually can't feel what his wife is feeling now and never will. Growing up i was told i will never be anything good, i was brought down with hateful words. I grew up where no one cared about any one or made you feel like you did your best, even when you put in your all. To top it all my mum and dad were always at each others throat. But then it only made me stronger and hateful. Well i was going through a phase when i met Jeremy and its not your business to know what was going on with me. He caught my attention and i went in for the kill and may i say i had to cook a couple of fetish things to make him mine. I had his heart, i had won and that excited me. whether his wife found out or not wasn't really my business to tell you the truth i really didn't care. I began to love him everyday and he reciprocated till that voice, that threatening voice came and spoilt it all. Seating at home waiting for Jeremy to come i had made his dinner and just as i prepared to take the pot off the cooker i fell and i could not move my legs, i tried to shout but no words came out, all i could hear in my head was 'leave him alone you wicked woman'. I never got my legs and voice back, i never saw Jeremy again not even a good bye. Then i realized that i had wronged a person whom i never met nor knew. I knew then that the man i held onto was another woman's love and life. I felt sorry, i had actually murdered someone's heart and life, i wanted to pay but looking at my condition i knew a higher power had taken over and i was paying for my sins already.
My name is Latoya , i'm God fearing, intelligent, beautiful and articulate. To add to all of this i am a graduate and own one of the biggest malls in Africa. I am every man's dream, in fact i am success personified. I fell in love with the man of my dreams Jeremy and we got married, that was twelve years ago though. The first year of marriage was everything i wished for and then in the second year i gave birth to our son Jeremy Jrn. that made my husband so proud of me and he loved me even more then two years later our daughter arrived oh! my she was heaven sent i mean she was such an angel that's the best word i can use and we named her Angel. On our eleventh anniversary Jeremy called to say he had a meeting and won't make it for our weekend trip, i was mad and believe me i thought of going all the way to his office to cause a scene but then i figured i was bigger than that. Then he started keeping late nights, stopped eating my food and in a little while our beautiful marriage became unbearable. He was cheating obviously and i found out who she was but i never confronted her. I had only one weapon, my mother taught me to pray in situation like this. I hurt so much that i was lost to the world even when the children talked to me i had no voice to reply. In my room all i did was cry, when Jeremy was home i was still the good wife irrespective of all that was happening. I prayed and prayed nothing seemed to be happening at first, but one day while i was on my knees asking God to restore my home, still praying my husband touched me and when i turned i found the man i married looking at me with so much love with tears in his eyes he held me and knelt down asking me to pray for him. I did and i was happy to have my husband back from the clutches of the strange woman. I was happy to know that God never left me, He was always there and he was right on time.
Jeremy the husband entangled with two women, his wife and mistress. Subdued by voodoo but released by grace. Men watch and pray most of these people you get entangled with are pushed by certain spirits. All you need is one woman, your wife or who ever you have chosen to compliment you.
Bukola the one with the low self esteem represents young girls who go after what's really not their's when they should put more energy into being just like Latoya the successful one and the one with the husband. Judging from her view she needed love but there was no one to give her that or she was rather impatient to wait for hers so she latched onto the next 'unavailable man'. At the end she was left with no legs, voice or man....she lost. There are a lot of girls like Bukola my only advise to you is to stop making excuses to suit your mischief-making purposes. Dad left my mum ok, i have no one to take care of me big deal, there are a million people out there who struggle hard and rise up to fame without any backing but God. Work hard and stop chasing after gold that is not yours to keep.
Latoya the one who is at the base of the triangle. she was stepped on by both husband and mistress but she still held on to her values. Remember hell had no fury like a woman's scorn but her approach was different many might think she was too soft but causing a quarrel would have ended her marriage perhaps, killing her husband she would still lose him all the same. All she wanted back was her love, her husband and family. To every praying woman continue what you know how to do best , that is your only answer to victory at all times.
At the end of the day all that matters is God, love, prayers, perseverance, and the spirit of forgiveness. Put all these in you daily regimen it helps a lot, not just in your marriage but every aspect of your life.
Morning darlings, hope you enjoyed the triangle? Have a blessed and favoured day.
Ciao
Darlings
xoxo...........
I write......
After reading this I just tot to myself "Wow" the way a lot of men take prayer for granted is unbelievable, and this is an example of what can happen to you if God is not the starter and finisher of your day..Your wife or mother or sister or anyone can pray for u but that prayer is not enough, yours has to be the icing on the cake. Salvation really is personal and I cannot stress it enough. The power of a praying husband can kill and destroy lustful forces. I encourage all men today to start praying twice as much as they usually do. Prayer is the key..communication is the key to a successful relationship so if you want that relationship with God then communicate with Him often and the Holy Spirit will always direct your path and you can never go astray. Read your bible, pray, teach your children to do the same. Taking the time to meditate on Gods word is a good medicine for our souls. Prayer is us talking to God, reading the Bible is God talking to us.....Don't let a day go by where you don't hear Gods voice...God bless your eyes for reading xxx
The husband, his mistress and his wife. A tale of love, hate, infidelity, low self esteem, God, prayers, perseverance and forgiveness.
I am Jeremy, successful in every right and married to an amazing woman who made me really happy and gave me the best gifts any man could ever ask for 'our children' Jeremy Jnr and Angel. Then i met Bukola who actually came on to me and did the whole chase, till she lured me home one night (i and Latoya's anniversary). I cancelled on the woman who had done me no wrong but completed me in every area of my life but still i got that urge to be selfish, that urge that kept telling me there was nothing wrong with what i was doing, that urge that kept on saying 'here's a beautiful woman don't let that get past you man Latoya has got two kids out not sexy any more', even though i knew my wife had not lost shape in any way but i still went on. Bukola offered me a drink on that night and while i was on that my thoughts went wild and i was about to leave then she offered me something to eat and i could not turn her down so i ate and my first taste of that food almost led me to my destruction. That night when i got home Latoya was ugly to me and i saw my kids as little goblins, they became unbearable to live with and i started keeping late nights spending more time with Bukola. One thing i noticed while all this was going on was the strength and faith my wife put up, like nothing was wrong. She still went to church and about her business like everything was fine but i could see the pain in her eyes but that ugliness i could not ignore. I stopped eating her food but she never complained she still put them on the table each day all the same. She never screamed at me, she never asked where i was coming from. One day i was at work and a voice said 'i would have killed you if not for your wife's prayers, get up now and go home she needs you and don't you even waste as much as five minutes here' like a zombie i did as i was told. I could not stop myself and as soon as i got home there she was my beautiful wife, i knelt down apologised and asked her to pray for me. I stopped seeing Bukola and i never explained my absence from her life because when this all started i never explained to my wife and guess what she never called me back neither did she look for me. All i wanted at this point was to get my happy family back and i did.
Bukola is my name and i really don't care what people think about me, i saw a fine brother and i went after him. Well yes i made my investigations he was married but so what. I never lose in this games you know, what i want i get. I have no conscience, never been married and actually can't feel what his wife is feeling now and never will. Growing up i was told i will never be anything good, i was brought down with hateful words. I grew up where no one cared about any one or made you feel like you did your best, even when you put in your all. To top it all my mum and dad were always at each others throat. But then it only made me stronger and hateful. Well i was going through a phase when i met Jeremy and its not your business to know what was going on with me. He caught my attention and i went in for the kill and may i say i had to cook a couple of fetish things to make him mine. I had his heart, i had won and that excited me. whether his wife found out or not wasn't really my business to tell you the truth i really didn't care. I began to love him everyday and he reciprocated till that voice, that threatening voice came and spoilt it all. Seating at home waiting for Jeremy to come i had made his dinner and just as i prepared to take the pot off the cooker i fell and i could not move my legs, i tried to shout but no words came out, all i could hear in my head was 'leave him alone you wicked woman'. I never got my legs and voice back, i never saw Jeremy again not even a good bye. Then i realized that i had wronged a person whom i never met nor knew. I knew then that the man i held onto was another woman's love and life. I felt sorry, i had actually murdered someone's heart and life, i wanted to pay but looking at my condition i knew a higher power had taken over and i was paying for my sins already.
My name is Latoya , i'm God fearing, intelligent, beautiful and articulate. To add to all of this i am a graduate and own one of the biggest malls in Africa. I am every man's dream, in fact i am success personified. I fell in love with the man of my dreams Jeremy and we got married, that was twelve years ago though. The first year of marriage was everything i wished for and then in the second year i gave birth to our son Jeremy Jrn. that made my husband so proud of me and he loved me even more then two years later our daughter arrived oh! my she was heaven sent i mean she was such an angel that's the best word i can use and we named her Angel. On our eleventh anniversary Jeremy called to say he had a meeting and won't make it for our weekend trip, i was mad and believe me i thought of going all the way to his office to cause a scene but then i figured i was bigger than that. Then he started keeping late nights, stopped eating my food and in a little while our beautiful marriage became unbearable. He was cheating obviously and i found out who she was but i never confronted her. I had only one weapon, my mother taught me to pray in situation like this. I hurt so much that i was lost to the world even when the children talked to me i had no voice to reply. In my room all i did was cry, when Jeremy was home i was still the good wife irrespective of all that was happening. I prayed and prayed nothing seemed to be happening at first, but one day while i was on my knees asking God to restore my home, still praying my husband touched me and when i turned i found the man i married looking at me with so much love with tears in his eyes he held me and knelt down asking me to pray for him. I did and i was happy to have my husband back from the clutches of the strange woman. I was happy to know that God never left me, He was always there and he was right on time.
Jeremy the husband entangled with two women, his wife and mistress. Subdued by voodoo but released by grace. Men watch and pray most of these people you get entangled with are pushed by certain spirits. All you need is one woman, your wife or who ever you have chosen to compliment you.
Bukola the one with the low self esteem represents young girls who go after what's really not their's when they should put more energy into being just like Latoya the successful one and the one with the husband. Judging from her view she needed love but there was no one to give her that or she was rather impatient to wait for hers so she latched onto the next 'unavailable man'. At the end she was left with no legs, voice or man....she lost. There are a lot of girls like Bukola my only advise to you is to stop making excuses to suit your mischief-making purposes. Dad left my mum ok, i have no one to take care of me big deal, there are a million people out there who struggle hard and rise up to fame without any backing but God. Work hard and stop chasing after gold that is not yours to keep.
Latoya the one who is at the base of the triangle. she was stepped on by both husband and mistress but she still held on to her values. Remember hell had no fury like a woman's scorn but her approach was different many might think she was too soft but causing a quarrel would have ended her marriage perhaps, killing her husband she would still lose him all the same. All she wanted back was her love, her husband and family. To every praying woman continue what you know how to do best , that is your only answer to victory at all times.
At the end of the day all that matters is God, love, prayers, perseverance, and the spirit of forgiveness. Put all these in you daily regimen it helps a lot, not just in your marriage but every aspect of your life.
Morning darlings, hope you enjoyed the triangle? Have a blessed and favoured day.
Ciao
Darlings
xoxo...........
I write......
After reading this I just tot to myself "Wow" the way a lot of men take prayer for granted is unbelievable, and this is an example of what can happen to you if God is not the starter and finisher of your day..Your wife or mother or sister or anyone can pray for u but that prayer is not enough, yours has to be the icing on the cake. Salvation really is personal and I cannot stress it enough. The power of a praying husband can kill and destroy lustful forces. I encourage all men today to start praying twice as much as they usually do. Prayer is the key..communication is the key to a successful relationship so if you want that relationship with God then communicate with Him often and the Holy Spirit will always direct your path and you can never go astray. Read your bible, pray, teach your children to do the same. Taking the time to meditate on Gods word is a good medicine for our souls. Prayer is us talking to God, reading the Bible is God talking to us.....Don't let a day go by where you don't hear Gods voice...God bless your eyes for reading xxx
Thursday 16 February 2012
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