Yeah! Yeah! You are right and family is very important but remember, the decision of who you make your friend is what begets family in the first place. Afterall, you won't marry your brother/sister to start your own family, would u? No! I thought so. It is the friend you choose that determines your own family and the family of those you will give birth to.
Some will say, what about same sex friendship, well that is also important but can never be as important as the friendship that will lead to marriage. Same sex friendship is what i call practice for marriage because no matter what,if your best friend is not your spouse then you have just married for the fun of it. And if you end up not getting married then you still win anyway for you have still experienced friendship in someone, be it same sex or not.
Now, who really is a friend?
The Bible says to have friends, we should show ourselves to be friendly.
For those of you that really really know me, you will know how important friendship is to me. I have been going through alot lately and have been seeking and searching for wisdom from God and i will love to share a few facts i have found. Especially with those who have no clue what friendship is really about.
1. To Find a Friend, Be a Friend
The Bible shows us how to make friends. As Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man that has friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” There is a key to having loyal friends or making friends in the first place. You have to show yourself friendly. So if you are one of those people that say " i have no friends" and you really want to have friends then this is the key, be who you want and your standards will be set.
2. Trust is an ingredient of friendship.
Without trust there can be no friendship. A friend keeps a friend’s secrets to himself as Proverbs 17:9 says, “He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.” That is, a friend doesn’t gossip about friends faults and is quick to forgive them. A friend who repeats a matter (or gossips) can separate “even close friends.” That is a key to true friendship. If you repeat something that a friend entrusted you with, that will likely be the end of that friendship or in the least, they will never come to you in confidence again. If you have found that you did this to someone you consider a friend it's either they are not truly your friend or you repent now and go ask them for forgiveness. It's ok to make mistakes sometimes, as long as you are willing to correct them. Also, when you tell a persons secret to another person, they won't always hear from that person but guess what? The Holy Spirit reveals it all to them if they are in touch. It happened to me and since then i have withdrawn from the person and prayed for them hoping they will one day confess to me.
2. Friends Tell You the Truth
Your friends will tell you the truth even when it hurts. As Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful”
It is better to hear it from a friend if you are doing something wrong because they truly care enough about you. A friend doesn’t want to see you hurt in the long run even if it might hurt to tell you now. I have often been accused in the past of being too emotional or that i stress on things too much. You know what? I love to trash things out no matter how long it takes, i get weary when i realise someone is hiding something from me especially when it comes to my flaws.The point is that the truth sometimes hurts, but flattery or patronizing someone in the end just for "peace" sake or to avoid confrontation usually does more harm than good. If you are my friend, no matter what it will cost me i will tell you and help you with your flaws especially if it will take you to hell or affects our friendship or affects me.
3. Friendship is second most important thing in life after SALVATION.
A person becomes more like those that they associate with. This is why it is critically important to choose your friends wisely. Proverbs 13:20 warns us that we should “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Just like we are told, “you are what you eat”, so too we are warned to “not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared” (Prov 22:24-25) trust me this happened to me. I was very close to someone that just expressed so much anger and disgust and one day I ended up showing more than what the person has ever even shown me in my life. I saw a monster in me. I surprised myself and i made a decision that day to guard my heart and protect my self from certain people.Bad company corrupts good morals almost every time. You not only become “ensnared” by them but “you may learn their ways.” If you associate with hot-tempered people, you’re going to become hot-tempered yourself. Most often, we become like those we associate with no matter how saved you are. FACT!
4. Godly Friends Beget Godly Behavior
In Psalm 119:63 it says, “I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts.” Those who fear God (which is a reverence and high respect for God) are good companions and make excellent friends. I loooooove people that love God, to me it's like " what could ever go wrong if God is the centre of it all"You will soon discover that their Godly values will rub off on you and these types of friends can be accountability partners to each other( the best) “The fear of the Lord – that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding” (Prov. 28:28). A Godly friend who becomes a best friend who becomes a spouse will never cheat on you when you upset them, instead they will go to God in prayer to fix it all. That is why as Christians we must renew our hearts DAILY, infact " every SECONDLY" so we are not tempted in anyway to do what the flesh desires. I never take the fellowship of the brethren lightly because it helps me stay connected as i know the devil is constantly seeking, so i ghast constantly renew mind as that is the enemies greatest weapon-The mind.
5. Be careful not to confuse Fair and Foul Weather Friends for true friends.
Friends are those that stick with you during the hard times. Trials and adversity can usually separate true friends from those who are just fair-weather friends. Why? Because, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Prov 17:17). When You get married, you should have married your best friend. In fact, it is recommend for betrothed or engaged couples to become friends first and foremost, before they get married. This type of friendship is an image of the relationship that Christ has for the church. A relationship where He literally died for His bride. In this same way, a friend loves his or her friend as they love themselves – through thick and thin, sickness and health, poverty and wealth.Your true friends will not be afraid to tell you the truth even at the risk of hurting your feelings but fair weather friends will always be careful for the 'friendship' they have with you is more important than the love they have for you, which the desire to help you would have sprung from. Constantly pray for God to reveal this to you in your friendship.
The focus for us all is Gods will, in the journey we must be careful not to allow the people we associate with take us out.The fact is that friends are indispensable in this life. The older a person gets the more valued their friendship becomes due to experiences and tested times.Many friends are closer than brothers or sisters are to each other. There is something special about having a friend that you can confide in, tell your troubles to without being judged and share your life with knowing they will correct you when you go wrong. It has been said that a sorrow shared is halved, but a joy shared is doubled. Proverbs 27:10a says, “Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family” because you may need that friend in a day of trouble. The value of friends is one of the most important things in a person’s life: Their worth are not diminished by time, not devalued by inflation, not worn out by use, but like a fine wine, they improve with time. So are friends to those who have them; like medicine to the soul or as Proverbs 27:9 says, “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.”
I pray you continue to be a friend that you are to those around you and one day God will reward you with a friend just like you. Have a blessed week.
Maamamia xxx
