GoNe BuT nOt FoRgOtTeN.....RIP Ngozi Josephine Onyeabor

It feels like yesterday when we had that girly talk on the sofa...talking about the new dude in my life at the same time waiting for the clock to hit 12 so i could give u the biggest hug and scream 'HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY SISTER...YOU MADE IT TO 40..GOD KEPT YOU FOR US..I LOVE U'. And it did tick and I said all of that plus more....we talked and talked into the morning and u gave me the best relationship advice and said " Sweet sister,I can see he makes u happpy, u've been alone for too long maybe now is the time for u to give someone a chance..." Then the phone rings and its 'him' and i tell him to speak to my sister but he says "noooooooooo" and i say 'Its her birthday, wish her a happy one' and he says 'mamama pls noooo' and i handed the phone over to you...hehe..you say ' hmmm so u're the one abi?...if u break my sisters heart i will come and find u o, don't mess with us o...she is my joy and everything' then he says whatever he says, all i remember u saying was "amen, thank u" and i took the phone back....as usual you asked if i was ok and if i needed anything...i hugged u,prayed with you and we went to bed...ready for the next day as mummy was bringing her troops to come and pray for u....I remember that day so vividly..how we went shopping and the experience with tat lady and her buggy....we rushed home so we could make it before mum but unfortunately she was there before us and we did not hear the end of it.....we ran in....gisted a bit about what u'll wear..gosh this is too painful..You never really liked pictures no matter how much i forced you to take them and i know u wont want me posting the recent ones here, even tho u look soooooooooooo beautiful in them. Anyway, i won't do what you wouldn't want me to do. i love you dear sister.

Sister I couldnt publish this post since but I will now. Remember my friend Kunbi? The oone you spoke to when i was so down and writing my exams? The one i was staying in her house..Sister she died, plane crash, she just died....I know u will see her, please tell her i miss her..I miss you and love u so much..God help us all.

Rest in peace my dear friend.....KIA4EVA

Where do I want to start from? Where?

I wake up with my head filled up with so many ideas for this charity we want to work on....I write, I make calls, I remember Kunbi and our discussion...I call Bolu...she says call Kunbi and I say that's true, i'll call her. I try to call Kunbi but I tot"later" or when I'm ready to register it i'll call her to put me thru cos I know that call won't be a 1minute thing as we have alot of pending gist...Henrys wedding, Ugonna, Nhs, the latest guy in my life etc......A week and i mean one week after, i go to church, bb dies as usual(very rubbish device), having fun with friends...stayed in church till late...got a text from twinny on my voda about this plane crash in Nigeria that killed people, my heart skipped and I just said " Gosh twinny, thats so sad mehn... I really worry for Nigeria" I come home charge my fone...see all the updates and all i could do was pray...i made a conscious effort not to update about the crash at all cos it was just too sad...I tried to look away. Then i get a bbm from my school son saying ' Mama I need a favour, dont panic o but did you hear about the plane crash? the one in Lagos' I replied saying 'yes dear' he goes on to say 'don't panic o. But i hear one of your friends was on it and her sister is in loughbotough. Is it true?' . At this time i had two of my friends with me and I just kept on telling them that i dunno what this boy is talking about cos i cannot think, i cannot cannot think of anyone that her sister is in loughborough that would have been on that plane....so i took the courage and asked 'tel me who? PING! PING!PING! my fone has been off, just turned it on' and lo and behold the biggest blow i have ever received came (at this time my friends had gone, i made sure they left before i opend his message) he replied saying "I hear Kunbi, don't know if its true' so i replied saying ' i don;t think its true but let me ping her and see' at that point believe you me my heart STOPPED! It stopped but I was still alive....So i called Kunbi but couldnt get thru so i calmed down then i called Jumoke and I could tell it was true from the tone..we had a convo for like a minute or two-i honestly cannot remember a thing from our convo. The rest is history.........

KUNBI IRENE ADEBIYI was my friend regardless of all the differences that we had, infact we fought more than anyone in loughborough but i still loved her..in another fact,i was always the one fighting with myself in the matter o...as the pretty young lady didnt even know half the time that i was fighting with her.lol.serious issue of a big baby.....My first fight with Kunbi was really silly and i cannot say most of the reasons and the day i can never forget was the day ugonna tricked us and left her in my room for us to settle our differences and we were just talking like husband and wife....i'll say things like ' but i text u and u didnt reply, ehn that shows u dont care now and i am not important abi' and she'll say things like ' who told you? u dont even know why'. Hmmmmmm kunbebe i knw u're reading this now and saying 'mamz it is not that type of thing i love u too o' but Kunbi it hurts, it hurts so deep, it hurts deeper than anything. You know now, you knw when i lost sister and how i was, u were even hurt too cos you spoke with her a couple of times but this hurt is not that type of hurt kunbi, this hurt is just i-cannot-believe-i-will-get-past-this-hurt kind of hurt and i dunno whats hurting me more if its that i never really expressed how much u meant enuf or its that u're actually gone like u're gone? asin kunbz i cant stop thinking about the flight...how u must have felt, if the pilot made an announcemnt, or if the plane shook or if the mask dropped down, if u panicked, if u tried to calm the person next to u down, if u just simply shut ur eyes and talked to God. Like i wish i could have seen all this happen so i could save you but i couldnt, i didnt, i couldnt have.Only God could have. I am so pained that our country Nigeria that you love so much and hoped to lead one day let u down like this Kunbi, I am so pained that the greed of humanity and the insensitivity of mankind can do this to you Kunbi. I am sorry and i apologise on behalf of the whole nation. I won;t be like them i will be different i will think about my neighbour in everything i do, i will be my brothers keeper and in all i do i will always put God first. i'm sure u are safe now anyway, we all will go someday too and u're lucky u dont have to deal with loosing each of us...we will all meet again kunbz...say hello to sister for me and Ugonnas dad...i love you and i miss you too...your last words to me when i kept telling u that u lived in 10 and me 8 and this ur forgetting memory is a special case...:

Kunbi Adebiyi

• Mams! It's no 10 oh, dunno how I 4got! Aaaaw thAts nice, nd Ur helping ppl Wich u like doin. Proud of u, so do u go from home nd wen nxt r u in Lagos? Hows MB btw? Yes am in Lagos oh, NYSC has even started. Yes am planning to go for the wedding BGG. Ugonna nd I r good, thank GOD:) how bou u? Ne new bobo or potential?

and my last words to you while you lived were: 

Maama Miaa

• Aww that's nice make sure you wear nice make up o! Like ur bday....Yeah I go from home.....I'll come to xmas but not for long at all just 4days cos of work...@potential bobo yes there is one o! Femi and i'm weak cos I wasnt expecting another yoruba boy...lol...not confirmed yet but so far he might be the next..been on a couple of dates and so on...I've left it completely with God to take total control and I told him to pray too..My prayer life is better now and I'm becoming a better christian day by day too and I love my new church too.....I'll post dress today

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So my dearest, thats it...I miss u deeply and truly and i thank God for bringing u into my life, you were so tender,sweet and fair. God bless u till we meet again. 

p.s: that femi guy didnt work o! So please pray for me from there o...lol..ur sister is really tired of all these boboz...we dunno who is lying or saying the truth again.lol....Plus we are now on that charity ish FULL FORCE! Our first fundraiser is on the 13th July and we will be remembering u. God heal our hearts Kunbz especially ur family and Ugonna (I really dunno how he is coping especiallly after his dad, but GOD has to do it. He is not a man that He should lie. He gat this...we will be fine) love u  girlfriendxxx